Paw Paw Chick

My Paw Paw passed away one month ago today. He was my Daddy's (Pappy) Dad, and most of the world called him Chick. He was married to my Maw Maw for 61 years, and as she will tell you, they played together as children. Most of my life (and his), he lived in Chalmette, Louisiana, in St. Bernard Parish, but five years ago Katrina forced them to say goodbye to the home they had lived in since I was three years old. They had evacuated to Paw Paw's sister's house in Picayune, Mississippi, with their box of important papers and two clean pairs of underwear. They thought they would be gone from home overnight -- two days at the most. The eye of Katrina passed directly over Picayune, and I remember the ride with Daddy to go look for them the day after the storm. We knew we had to go before road blocks were set up (to keep the vandals and idiots out), and most of the drive on I-10 was in silence. I don't know what you remember from the storm or what you saw on TV, but I'm here to tell you that you can't wrap your mind around the devastation we saw. I know I felt like we were on a Recover Mission instead of Rescue, and Daddy has said since then that he was sure of the same thing. It just didn't seem like anyone could still be alive in the middle of all that destruction.

But they were. Paw Paw and Maw Maw were fine, and they were out with Gertie and Bobby looking for ice when we arrived. They had no power, so they hadn't seen the TV coverage of where their home used to be, and we couldn't convince them that they weren't going home in a couple of days. So we left without them, and two days later, they pulled up at Daddy and Momma's house. Rocky and I lived there, and for the next five months, Maw Maw and Paw Paw did too. I had never lived near my grandparents before, not like my cousins had. My cousins all lived blocks away; I grew up almost an hour across town. I saw them all plenty, and spent the night with them several times each year. But I learned in the five months I lived with my grandparents that I didn't really know them as well as I thought I did.

I don't think you ever really know someone unless you live with them. When you live with someone, you see the parts of them that never leave the house. I learned that my Paw Paw was moody. I learned that he could hold a grudge, something I had always attributed to Maw Maw. I watched these two people I love deal with the grief of saying goodbye to 78 years of familiar places, things and people. SEVENTY EIGHT YEARS. Even now that is hard for me to comprehend and fills me with a sadness I can't explain. I also learned that as painful as that loss was, my Paw Paw was a man of incredible strength. He had his dark moments during those months, but Paw Paw faced this challenge head-on. As soon as he was allowed back, Paw Paw was at his house to survey the damage and salvage anything he could. Even when he slipped and fell, tearing a rotator cuff and reigniting a spinal cord injury that would eventually cripple and kill him, Paw Paw never stopped.

After they moved into a home of their own a couple of miles from my parents, I tried to make sure I spent time with them at least once a week. Eventually, Paw Paw had to give up his driver's license, and these two people who had spent my entire life "dragging the streets" were suddenly penned up by four walls. I know he hated every minute of it, and he certainly wasn't in love with Alabama, but Paw Paw rarely complained about any of it to me. When he saw me, Paw Paw asked about my job (recalling specific details of the last report I had given him) and then when I started seeing C, he wanted to know all about him, too. Eventually, our talks became about parenting and marriage, the things most important to him. It was his purpose, his sole reason for living: family. I heard stories for the first time in these last couple of years, things that I suppose he thought I already knew. I listened to him talk about his memories, the happy and hard times, the triumphs and the regrets. I asked questions while I watched him grow weaker and sick. I grew angry.

I had just finished cooking dinner on a Thursday night in July when Daddy called. It was the third time that week that the nurses called to say Paw Paw wouldn't make it through the night. I was exhausted after the week we'd had and I didn't believe he was really slipping away. By the grace of God, though, I called a neighbor to watch Olivia and C and I headed to the nursing home where he was in hospice care. When I walked in the room and saw him, I knew I was saying goodbye. I am so thankful for the precious hours I got to spend talking to him and holding his hand while he fought to the bitter end. Daddy wanted to get a few hours of sleep and we went home after midnight. True to form, Paw Paw did make it through the night, and he slipped away a few minutes before Momma and I walked back into his room on Friday morning.

After seeing him so miserable and sick, I thought it would be a relief to know he's not anymore. I don't feel relief, though. I just miss him. I walk into his house to visit Maw Maw, and it is strange and not right. The air in the house is different with him gone. As my grandmother would say, he was a little man, but he left such a big imprint on everything he touched. And I miss him.

My Momma's daddy died three and a half years ago, and I still feel the loss as keenly now as I did then. There are days when I still well up with tears that he will never know my husband or child. I'd like to think it will get better, but Maw Maw's parents have been gone more than twenty years and she still cries every time she mentions them. I guess when you love someone that much, there is no getting better. You just get on. So I face the challenge head-on, the way Paw Paw did.

Expiration Dates, They're Not Just For Sissies.

Our day started at 4:22 this morning. That was when Rocky came to the door of our bedroom and timidly peeked into the darkness. There are only two things that can wake me up during the night: the sound of Olivia crying, and the jingle of Rocky's collar. And early this morning, I heard the jingle at our door and instantly knew that something was wrong. Rocky does not get up during the night unless something is wrong or he is cold. And if he is cold, he curls up on the rug at the foot of our bed and tries to bury himself in the covers that have fallen on the floor. So, I sat up and asked Rocky what he was doing up; he immediately ran to the laundry room door (which was shut) to let me know that he wanted his water. I opened the door for him and watched him lap up water like a camel headed into the desert. Suspicious, I turned on the light in the kitchen, and about that time I was hit by it: The Smell Of Something Seriously Wrong.

At this point, I feel I need to explain something about our family: we (ahem, C) won't eat leftovers that have been in the refrigerator for more than 4 days, but tend to be a bit cavalier about expiration dates. It seems that we (ahem, C) read or heard a story about how those are more guides than rules and to use good sense and your nose when determining if something should be eaten or thrown out. Thus a strange and scary new game of Intestinal Roulette was born.

So when Rocky ran out of dry food late last week, I decided it was high time he ate his canned food before it went bad. It has been in the laundry room for a sweet forever being saved for reasons I have forgotten, and he loves the stuff. Then I saw that the expiration date on the cans was May 2010. I thought I might should just throw it out, but I didn't have anything else to feed him, and the date is just a suggestion, right? And it's only dog food, it's not like it's milk or something. Right? Right. So, Rocky started happily wolfing down his canned food.

That was last Friday. Rocky was at Camp over the weekend because of a last minute trip we made, and when we got home and back to normal on Monday, I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. On Tuesday, our neighbors were over visiting Olivia and I kept noticing this terrible smell. I couldn't find a source, though -- it was like it was everywhere, this horrible Fog of Stench (FOS) hanging in the house. I febrezed everything and vacuumed, but the FOS remained. You can probably see where this is going, but sadly, I didn't add it up. Tuesday turned into Wednesday and still the FOS remained.

Back to this morning. The Fog of Stench transformed during the night into The Smell (and Evidence) of Something Seriously Wrong. And I will spare you the details, but let's just say that Rocky's intestinal fortitude held out for almost a week but failed him miserably sometime between 1 and 4 AM. He was so ashamed of himself and had even tried to hide some of the evidence (gag) but at some point I think he realized he was going to have to face the music. Probably around the time he needed water.

The moral of the story, People of the Web, is that if the can says it's best by May 2010, it's really bad in August.

I guess she had a growth spurt

Olivia routinely rearranges the contents of my pantry, which I think I may have mentioned here before. It was new to me, however, on this day when she reached up to a shelf I was unaware was within her grasp and helped herself to the Fig Newtons.

Look at how proud of herself she is!

Splashing at the Fountain

While Aden and Becca still lived here in the States, we enjoyed taking the kids to the outdoor mall to play in the water fountain. This was before the temperatures were in the triple digits and it was still possible to be outdoors for more than 10 minutes at a time. Anyway, we seem to have sunscreen-in-the-eyes issues that we can't overcome (despite several different kinds of facial sunscreen) but otherwise, O & A love the water.

look at them making friends!

this is not O's bucket, but she loved using it to get around (before she could walk)

filling up the bucket

Our Backyard Visitor

Occasionally, I will come home to find Rocky has caught a turtle. It usually happens after a heavy rain, and sadly, I think it is the same turtle every time. Rocky is very proud of himself and enjoys playing with his prey, tossing him around or gnawing at the edges of his shell. I know this because I saw him doing all of this the first time he caught the turtle before I realized what it was he was actually doing it with. Anyway, we all trooped in the back door one day and I saw Rocky had captured the turtle again and sent Chad to rescue him. Apparently, unbeknown to me, Olivia helped. 

Family Vacation

As I just mentioned, we were able to take a much-needed vacation this spring to Chicago. It's somewhere that I have always wanted to go, so we packed our bags and stroller and hit the big city. I was surprised by how kid-friendly Chicago is -- every museum we went in had an area especially designed for small children to play and learn. The weather was incredible; we had a little rain one day but clear blue skies the rest of the time. We weren't really sure what to expect temperature-wise, and Chicago did not disappoint: the weather went from downright cold and windy at the beginning of the week to shorts and flip flops by the time we left. We stayed downtown at the Hyatt Regency and were able to walk everywhere we went (except one museum we had to take the bus to).We also happened to be in town while the city was celebrating Spring with hundreds of thousands of tulips.

Some of the really cool things we did while we were there:

Took an architectural tour of the city on a water taxi

Saw the city from the top of Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower)
Got our picture taken with Sue at The Field Museum
Went to Lincoln Park Zoo and saw farm animals
Shopped the Magnificent Mile
Played in the Children's Museum at The Navy Pier
Ate the Best Pickles Ever Made
Had The Most Amazing Dinner in a Brazilian Steakhouse
Found the most delightful little breakfast spot

Some photos of our fun:

playing at the children's museum

playing in the park

Daddy and Olivia at the fountain

Sue at the Field Museum

checking out the view from the Sky Deck

walking to the Zoo on Lakeshore Drive

Silverback at the Zoo posing for his picture

It was really windy at Navy Pier

There was an entire farmhouse section of one of the museums. I guess those city kids don't get to see cows.

View from the boat tour

How cool is this sculpture? Olivia got to play in the water at the end of the week once it warmed up

Tulips blooming everywhere!

Our Flower Garden

We went on vacation in April. I had been watching and watering my irises, which we planted last year. They bloomed the day we left town, and I got these pictures of them. They are Louisiana Irises -- aren't they pretty? I'm glad I got the photos, because the blooms were gone by the time we got home.

 

Wagon Fun

I love my cousin!

Holding on for dear life because...

 

 

Honey is flying down the hill with us!

Sandwich Love

Would you look at that face?

I would like to believe that was an "I love Momma" face, but I think it was Sandwich Love.